wow... ten years!

Life is the only unplanned event that we always want to be at! We don’t care how bad it gets as long as we get to live it. I am reminded specifically how fragile life is this time of year, but in the same thought I am also directed at how beautiful and wonderful Christ love is. As a human I know and understand love to a degree but not to a degree that God has for me. “The way that He Loves us”….

I associate Love with Goodness… which it is good but love is also hard and it hurts … especially realizing that everything planned in my life was placed before me by a God that Loves me… the good … the bad… the trials … the ups… and the downs. This situation called life is only a temporary thing that we have been given the privilege to encounter. To understand that every moment of every breath of every day that I am given is all a part of a plan of how I can bring God the most glory!

It’s funny how we look at time. Seconds lead to minutes which leads to hours which lead to days which lead to weeks and then to months and then to year upon year. Then one day you take a breath and you realize that it has been 10 years. Then 20 years …and you look over and smile because she has been there for it all supporting you all the way. Or you are walking out of your office for the last time. Or hearing your baby girls name called out as she receives her college degree… and the thought of astonishment falls with the verbalization of “I can’t believe”.

I shared that thought today with my sister… December 14, 2009… “wow I can’t believe it has been 10 years”. Ten years since I walked into that hospital room and didn’t have to be told what had happened. Ten years since I realized that God had just ended a chapter in my life, and began writing a new one. Ten years since my earthly father Thomas Edward McFarlin went home to be with the Lord. I am amazed at the wonderful provision of God. I also wonder what my life would have been like with a healthy father. I’ve had to understand that in many situations throughout my life that God had planned this chapter of my life to be this way.

I saw cancer eat away a man that wasn’t the best father… but he was my father! He was the dad that God gave me and blessed me with for 17 years of my life. He taught me a lot of things, and I truly believe that he drew closer to the Lord towards the end of his life. I could tell you some real bad things about my father but the grace of my God covers that just as it covers me.

So I am left with a commandment to honor my mother and father. Its funny how there is no clause in that commandment. I am to honor my mother and father … no matter if living or dead. It’s hard to see how Gods plan for you is to experience that much pain, but it only shows how much … how needy … I am .. for a savior that does know my pain. I feel that with my bloodline being that of which it is … I want to bring honor to my father not because of anything that he did but only because the God who loves me beyond what I know has commanded me.

I would love to have seen my dad experience being a grandfather, and to watch his kids grow old. The hard thing though was that God knew I would bring greater Glory to him in this situation rather than what I wanted selfishly. My father wouldn’t give anything to have this life back. I hope my dad would be proud. Because there is no greater feeling of accomplishment than for your dad to look and you and tell you how proud he is. That is why I still look at those trophies, those plaques, those medals, and those number plates. Because I know those were moments that my dad hugged me and told me how proud he was. I think that as the sickness grew on him there was a growing realization of pride of his children.

The one thing I remember my father always saying to people in his last days …. “I’ve asked the good Lord to let me see what my kids will become”… I would like to have a cup of coffee with my dad now … and just ask three questions … have I honored you? Secondly… have I made you proud? Have I become what the Lord wants me to be?

This is the first year I’ve not went to the sixth floor of the tower at Spartanburg regional and stared at that room and going to the chair I sat in looking out over Spartanburg not understanding why ten years ago… but knowing that God wasn’t caught off guard by this situation … God did it… only because the other three members of the McFarlin family would bring Him more glory in this situation… God did it and God has provided … in many ways… but it still hurts to remember this night at 9:30…. That my life and the lives of my sister and my mother changed forever! But through it all I gained strength from this scripture…

Psalm 121
A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem.
1 I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? 2 My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!
3 He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. 4 Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps.
5 The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. 6 The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night.
7 The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. 8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.


Life is the only thing that we think we have control of, and yet it is total permissible participation of the Holy God who gives it!!! To Bring Him Glory!!

A thought about ministry from a quote

For those of you who don’t know I was raised a Wesleyan. Through my childhood it was where my family went to church. The church was a small congregation towards the last couple of years that we went there, but as a child I remember sitting on my grandma’s lap quietly eating Nilla wafers. My dad would be on the end of the pew, if he wasn’t outside talking to his other hunting buddies that “went” there, then my mom, sister and grandma. Now depending on my behavior and which parental unit was present determined my location on the pew any given Sunday morning. Of course there was a fair share of the congregation that wanted to mess with me and my sister, but for the most part I found myself between my mom and my grandma eating Nilla wafers. My Papa would occasionally be up front “leading singing” depending on if the church had a “choir leader” or not. The sunlight would pour through the stain glass windows depicting scenes from the bible, and the room never seemed cool enough in the summer of warm enough in the winter. Old ladies all smelling and looking like old ladies, their husbands with them, some grumpy some not.
I just remember even as young I was seeing that pulpit demanded respect to anyone who stood behind it. I fondly remember the man that stood behind that pulpit for so many years and spoke the word of God with what I now know as fire and passion. He wanted the people that came through those doors to hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ … and he wasn’t afraid to yell his point across if he got excited about what God did for him.
Reverend C.R. Lewis gave me my first glimpse of Christ, and was an example to me as I look back on that time in my life. He was madly in love with Jesus, crazy about his sweetheart, a father, and a true example of what ministry is. What I noticed was that his ministry was simple, totally reliant on the Gospel, the power of Christ in him , and a passion to see people experience the grace that he had been given.

Yesterday, I held a piece of paper in my hand that had this quote on it:

“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
where there is injury, pardon,
where there is doubt, faith,
where there is despair, hope,
where there is darkness, light,
and where there is sadness, joy,

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love, for it is in the giving that we receive, it is in the pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in the dying that we are born to eternal life.”

-Saint Francis

As I looked up from reading this quote I saw the little country church filled, my mama right beside me, the old ladies a little older, and the old men a little grumpier. Everything smelled the same, looked the same, the church was very similar to the one I grew up in. I was mildly distracted by ornery old people, but I think it was because I clapped a little during “Victory in Jesus”. The commanding pulpit was in place with a group of elder gentlemen behind waiting to speak. At rest in a coffin draped with an American flag honoring a WWII veteran was the body that held the spirit of Rev. C.R. Lewis. The words that followed for about the next two hours were not an effort to convince God to let him in to heaven. Rather It was a mournful celebration of a life lived that truly reflected a personal relationship with Christ. The people there were given the opportunity to share personal stories about “Preacher Lewis”, and one by one as the people stood and began to speak. They all spoke about how this man used every breath to change the people he was near for the cause of Christ. Including me, it all clicked at that moment. I remembered the life Preacher Lewis lived when I was a child. I listened to all the people that stood up and what each minister had to say as they shared. As I peered at that coffin I thought to myself no one has to tell a lie. This man lived what he believed!!! And it was like a simultaneous hush came over the room and with the thought process in my head….. God said “This is ministry… what you see here has brought people to me and made my name famous… This is ministry!” I read the quote from Saint Francis that was on the piece of paper again. “This is Ministry”… the bells and whistles will change… “this is ministry” combined with this though all I can think about is this passage in the book of Romans

Romans 8:31-39 (New Living Translation)
Nothing Can Separate Us from God’s Love
31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”[a]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God speaks through status updates?!?!?!?

It’s been like a puzzle recently when God has spoken to me. He’s given me the pieces, not in order, but one at a time. And as soon as I process one and store it to the back of my mind another piece is given to me. They don’t fit at first but within the next couple of days the Lord will speak and the third piece will come in joining the other two that didn’t fit. This is something that the Lord has been doing in my life for months, and it has been surrounded with its fair share of doubt and continual processing …. So please feel free to comment.

 

You know how you have those days that you want to share a nugget of scripture but you don’t want to seem to cookie cutter, but in all honesty it is something the Lord reveled to you and so you share anyway. Via the third person phrase tool know as the “facebook status update”. [Just as a side note status updates can become addicting to read especially if you are a people watcher or just plain nosy!] So I was just being nosy day and a friend from Nashville had Psalm 32 on her status update. So curiosity got the best of me, and thus the first piece of the puzzle was given to me

 

Psalm 32:8-9 (New Living Translation)

 

“8 The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
      I will advise you and watch over you.
 9 Do not be like a senseless horse or mule
      that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”

 

Ok, so the Lord is just reassuring me of what was driven through my skull, and body for that fact, that He is in control (see note: “no other explination”). What really stood out to me was verse nine and that the reason I was experiencing this “dry” time was because I had to be led around with a bridle in my mouth. God was showing me where He wanted me to go, but I was fitting the guidance! And as we all know that if you jerk on a chain enough times the dog will submit and follow. Think about it though… if you are walking your Dog on a leash it is only for his safety, not because you are mean, but because you care for the well being of the animal. God is walking me down this road of life and I stop and sniff a fire hydrant sometimes. If it’s not where He wants me then a little “tug” is administered to correct my path. Eventually, if the dog is smart, it will begin to walk beside its owner with no struggle on guidance whatsoever! God also used a quote posted on the status of Dwayne Morris that really closes this thought out “The most miserable people are genuine believers who continue to live life without a true, day-to-day relationship with Jesus.”

 

So after processing all that I was listening to a sermon by Perry noble, and said something that just put death grip on my cranium was said. This quote wasn’t the focus of his sermon but it kind of was. He was telling the story of how New Spring began…. And it was all issued on a challenge by and older gentleman who asked him “what would you be willing to attempt for God if you knew you wouldn’t fail?”…. Without hesitation in my mind I answered Music! Playing, worshiping, recording, and doing anything with music to glorify The Lord….. but a 26 year old who desires to have a family one day and support a wife cant “survive” on the norm of what is musicians pay (which in some cases is non existent). Am I being real or is it me doubting the Lord? I mean my common sense tells me that a musicians pay isn’t that of even a guy miserable in a cubical somewhere! I know God has called me to be a “musicianary”[music + missionary] but I’m a drummer, I read a rhythm line! But it’s something I would try, without a shadow of a doubt, if I knew I wouldn’t fail….. That’s when the second half of what Perry said clicked this gentleman said... “You’re a fool if you don’t do it!”

 

 

-------[SIGH]-------

 

So knowing who holds the Leash guiding me down the best pathway for my life why do I still fight walking right beside my master???? Why do I doubt if He has placed this passion my heart??? Will I ever be content if I sale God short by being that Guy in the cubical???  I could bring Him glory there, but is that really the “best pathway” for my life????

 

 

Ya know, it’s interesting how more pleasant a walk is when the Dog understands that the best place is beside the One leading him!

AGAIN!!!! REALLY!!!!

(This is a “sister post” to last weeks blog)

Ok, this is getting real humorous! I had the opportunity to play for a most excellent group of musicians at Hope Point church. The Lord blessed me with an encouraging time of worship as I was playing. As we finished I went through my normal routine to get to a seat. As the pastor finished his prayer, and began to open his sermon, I kid you not; he began speaking about the 15^th chapter of John!!!!!! REALLY!!!  YOU CAN’T PLAN THIS! I admit I laughed, but then corrected my self with the thought “maybe, just maybe something will be taught to me that will iron out my frustration with this verse.”

 

Here are some of the notes that I took during the sermon. I have to warn you, my note taking skills are a little strange!

____________________________________________________________________

Prayer-

 

“Whether we like it or not, asking is the power of the kingdom”

 

John 15:7

 

-         Have prayer more than food.

-         “if we fail with prayer we fail everywhere”

-         Plan more to pray more than I have

-         Absorb your life with Christ, then ask anything you want

-         Christ listens to those who have true union with Him

 

[Grasp verse 7 and tie it back to verse 5]

 

-         prayer is declaring our present need with God having the future answer

 

Example: a Fish stranded on a beach unable to get to water. The fish is left to die flopping around on the sand, and this fish’s need to be in water for life support is apparently important. The fish flops around fighting for life until a uncontrollable force, which is a wave, comes and carries it back to the water.

 

-         The wave washes the answer in!

-         Only he who realizes he is truly helpless can truly pray

-         Verse 7 is talking about things I cannot do but what God can give.

 

Jimmy, how many things did Jesus say that He didn’t mean?

 

_____________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

I am hesitant about doing this but I want to share my journal entry from last night as I was processing this information

 

 

“I look at the strongest points in my walk over the past 12 years, and the strongest times are those that are helplessly immersed in prayer.  Sometimes the prayers were vain, and I praise you Lord for not letting me have my way, but I was in constant prayer for strength no matter the situation. I feasted on communication with you Lord so that I may survive emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. “Only he who is helpless can truly pray”. I’m to prideful to admit helplessness! It’s not a “mans” character to admit that he’s weak and unable…… I’m completely helpless because nothing I can do, under my strength can save me from the toll that sin has brought on my life! I am unable to save myself from eternal separation from you Lord! I am a totally helpless man!! So that being the base of all my helplessness I have nothing to stand on but the love and resurrection of you Lord!! I pray because I am helpless without you Lord! “absorb your life with Christ, then ask anything you want”… and it will be given to you!”

 

 

Finally! This “song” has a resolved ending, and it just doesn’t end! The chords have progressed and brought an ending that makes sense to the musician!….(music frame of though)

 

I heard it through the grapevine?

John 15: 1-17

(Please take time to read the linked passage.... it will help... also take time to comment on my facebook wall) 

 

Ok, I think I actually get it after 12 years of being a Christian. When God places scripture before you repeatedly He actually wants you to take time out and soak it in. Once again I've see this passage a thousand times and I have meditated on it as well. So I actually took time to observe what a Gardner does to maintain a vineyard.(yeah I know he's talking about wine ..... but get over it!) I'm a visual learner so that really helped to understand that pruning is the removal of that which is not needed and of what hinders the plant from producing more fruit for the next years crop. 

 

Pruning hurts!!! Let me be the first to tell you it hurts physically, and emotionally!! You don't understand why. When it happens you kick and scream and even completely abandon any effort towards the relationship that you have with Christ.  If a grapevine is like every other plant the pruning leaves. These scars will always be present on the plant, but the plant becomes stronger the day that the useless limb is removed.  We may not like what is pruned out from our lives at the time, but God knows that we are more effective and more fruitful when this process takes place.  For the Gardner pruning is a constant thing. When the season ends He takes and removes what has not produced fruit so that the vine will be more fruitful. 

 

I've wrestled with the seventh verse of this passage sooooo much!!!!  I remain in Him but I try to place Him on my schedule.  I shouldn't remain in Him just to get the things that I want. I should remain in Him because it brings the greatest glory to His name. But God will truly give me what I want???? It's a struggle not to run away with this verse in my mind with the temptations of American culture. We are permitted and denied physical things because it places us in the exact place that God sees fit for us to give Him the most glory.  I know for a fact that if I had the income of Donald Trump it would be very hard for me to walk as closely to the Lord. We're promised exactly what we need, but Christ did say He'll give us what we want??? do you understand my frustration?

 

 

I really think I could write a small book about trying to hash out the words of this passage.  I desire so many things but God has withheld some of them for this season in my life because I am most effective without them (but it would sure be nice)...... and as of right now He has seen fit for me to be a single, 26 year old, semester missionary, that has a part time job at a music store....... May the Lord receive the most glory!

 

Delight: not the stuff that's almost a dessert

You know how you can hear something twenty million times and it can totally sounds different to the next time you hear it? Out of nowhere the emphasis lands a little differently on a word and all the sudden the scripture pops off the page and comes alive! A little bell goes off in your head and the signal travels to you vocal chords and you respond with a resounding "oh, now I get it". It’s situations like this that seem to be the greatest proof that the word of God is living and active. 

 

The other night I was listening to a friend share his heart with a group of college kids and he was using the 37th psalm within his sermon. This rephrasing took place for me within the fourth verse......

 

" 4 Take delight in the Lord,
      and he will give you your heart’s desires."

 

Simple ... I know ... and I've herd it a thousand times (or 20,000,001) ...... but I want to walk you through the process that went through my head......

 

I first composed a mental definition of the word delight. I'm not talking about the whip cream dessert of your third cousins that you have to choke down at thanksgiving. To delight!!!! To take joy .... A father delights in spending time with his kids after a long week....I, a lover of music, delight in hearing various arrangements from every walk of musician. Bob Ross delighted in painting happy trees, but words take a different meaning when you actually see the physical definition.....

 

 

Delight- a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment

So you can say I delight in playing drums...... I know others my call it something else but ….. we are going to hold those comments for later!

"take a high degree of pleasure in the Lord" 

Enjoy the time that He uses to speak to you....watching a sunset???? Seriously, if you haven’t done it in a while …. Just go out in your yard on a clear night and lie down in the grass and look up, turn your radio off in the car, sit quietly in a room in an upright chair.  God really does use those times to speak to us. Do it and just let your thoughts roll. God will use that time to clear your head so that He can get your mind focused on Him. So that the delight can take place in Living your life for the cause of Christ.... take delight in moment that your whole world is pulled out from under you because of a death, break up or whatever.... BECAUSE THE TOMB IS STILL EMPTY!! ..... and if you need more motivation for this "delight" ..... Romans 8:38-39!

The real words jumped off the page when I heard the second half of that verse …. And honestly I've come to doubt it(as a result of things that have happened in my life) 

"and he will give you your hearts desires" 

I've always looked at this verse like ...."ok, God I'm delighting in you .... now .... give me what I want!"  

This thought is wrong on so many levels, but it boils down to me trying to manipulate the creator of the universe to get what I want...... I wasn't about God's glory! This mindset was about achieving the agenda of Jimmy.  

But when I heard this verse last Thursday night..........the phrasing suddenly changed, the emphasis fell on the words a little differently....... "Delight in me Jimmy! Take pleasure in the time we spend together, when you do something for me, and when you bring Glory to my name. Don't worry about everything else..... I know the desires you have in your heart, but I want to GIVE you the Desires of your heart......Take joy in me Jimmy." 

I suddenly began to see mental pictures of situations where I wanted to give something to someone.A rose to a girl, a cup of coffee to a friend, or a plate of food to someone who needed it. My memory was rattled to remember my first Power wheel..... I wanted nothing more!!! and I flipped out when I got it, but I was too young to see the delight in my parents eyes when the sheet was pulled off of the red three wheeler! Yeah three wheels.... that’s how we rolled in the 80's..... I wanted to give, just like my parents wanted to give.... because when the situation of giving took place it gave the "giver" such delight and joy!!!!!

God wants to give us the desires of our hearts, but not by us pitching a fit like a little brat! I got that power-wheel when my parents saw fit for me to have it! Not when I wanted it, but when they wanted to me to have it! They wouldn't tolerate me demanding it, but they saw fit to give it!!!!!...... The hardest thing about this truth.... is patience, but in any situation that I've had to wait ...... it's always been better in the end! It's not good to look to the desired end of the journey.... because what God may want you to learn could possibly be in the next footstep!!!

 

 

 

Psalm 37:4

“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires”